innocence .

I've blocked out the horrifics that blotted the landscape of my mind past.
Subconsciously, of course.

It is hard for me to recall anything of remote importance during my secondary school years, and even harder to pick out the points in time where I was truly satisfied. Did I, unknowingly, bar them from surfacing ever again just because I would remember the bad times as well? Did I, again unknowingly, choose to forget what had occurred within those four walls?

Those four walls. Stone, grey walls.
Melancholy and grime. Destined, never fine
Perennial, the stone grey walls.

On an unrelated note: The fuck man. Stop putting cryptic messages in italics you wannabe a cool mini celebrity so I won't be an insignificant generic boring human like the rest of us dogface. EVERYONE FUCKING GETS IT. EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT YOU ARE TRYING SAY.

What, it makes you special? It makes you feel important? Guess what. Your blog is so god damned insignificant it's so improbable that a stranger will read it anyway. The only people reading (and frequenting) your blog are the people you already know, and they probably understand the damned italics already.

So stop wishing you can be your own Dawn Yang or Xia Xue or whatever the fuck celeb blogger you're trying to be. Or yourself, for that matter. (ie boomz I am me!)

And come on, italics AND a small font? The fuck? I CAN STILL READ IT MAN. Even if I can't, I can just RIGHT CLICK and ZOOM. Disabled the right click? L2ctrl+mousewheel. This italic + small alphabet dogshit has been so overused it's not even dramatic anymore.

God.

Mediocre Irony.

Individualistic desires - Harmen - Blue recyckos - Tomorrow is - MAD - Urban Renewal - Yellow and Red Transparencies - ICE - Blue-green birthdays - I had it coming - Warpath to redemption - wishes came true - FAs

Emotions ebb and flow, that's a fact. However, it has never ebbed this far or flowed this high in me. I have just been through a once-in-a-lifetime experience, but maybe it is just because I haven't felt this way in a long time. Too long.

I have just watched Up by Pixar.

For all those who doubt the movie, I have only one word.
Magical. Simply magical.

If you considered WALL-E to be unconventional, you would immediately think this movie be controversial. (lulkiddyshitcartoonwhatever) By no means does this make the film childish (for those who attribute cartoons and animated films to this, you are and will be sorely mistaken). Animated films have long transcended that description. (note: again, if you still think this way, you're limited. Just pure limited.) This animated feature in particular will certainly take your imagination on a wild ride. I apologize if I cannot appropriately describe the film aesthetically, because I simply cannot. Such things aren't yet to be quantified, but only maybe because they never will be.

I cannot tell you what this movie is, but I can certainly tell you what this movie is not, and childish is definitely one of them. I could go on for paragraphs and paragraphs, but I'll save you the time - time better spent watching "Up" right now.

However, I do agree that all this unadultered praise cannot go untreated. An opinion is, after all, just an opinion. It embodies the subjectivity of the content matter at hand and by doing so, conveys what we "feel" best. In fact, I completely understand the negativity of the reactions that come with watching an animated feature. The things that happen are unreal, a dream, something that will never happen and even if it does, that just makes it an exception. Ian enlightened me on this matter. He did not like it, that's for sure. I cannot blame him. A realist forced (more on this tomorrow. I really need to get something out of my system.) to experience something that just would not happen. He grew out of it, he says. For a moment, I understood him. I recognized that there were alot more people like him as well. But why let age limit us? Why let age determine what we should and should not think and feel?

Irregardless, at the end of the day, it's simply just an opinion versus another.

Closing comments

To the audience at large, I extend my invitation. For those who have not watched this filme, I beg you not to let what you see, hear, touch, feel and smell limit what you can actually, well, see, hear, touch, feel and smell. Bask in the magic that is the human imagination, and ride "Up". It may just very well be the wildest ride you've ever taken. Watch it with an open mind, unbounded by the limits of reality, and I assure you that you will walk away with something. A sour taste for some, maybe, but a thing nonetheless.

I envy those who feel differently about the movie, really. Why didn't I feel that way? Why couldn't I? I honestly would like to go through what you went through throughout the movie, just to have a taste of what it's like. Understanding other perspectives, I'd say.

I do not want to provide any spoilers (you can go to wikipedia for that), but doing so will only succeed in doing injustice to the film itself. Short of being completely illiterate and devoid of emotion, you owe it to yourself to watch this film.

I cannot believe myself. My frustration manifests itself in outbursts of anger. Uncontrollable outbursts.

More often than not, it seems as if it directs itself at someone, even if I did not mean it to. It doesn't matter if I feel sorry, am sorry or didn't mean it. Its myself that I'm furious at, and yet.. Everything's changed, and nothing is the same anymore.

I'm so sorry guys, really. I didn't mean to..

I thrive under competition, and yet do badly under pressure.

Now, exactly how much sense did that make?

Not alot, I suppose. But yet, I can't find a better way to put it (1 minute left). So far, I've started practicing my maths. Why? Because my friends are currently doing much better and I do not want to fall behind. It seems as if I can only do well if others do much better.

However, situations in which I'm required to make instantaneous replies, I screw up. The teacher praises me, I shoot down his praise by going: "Oh, it's not much." or something of the like with a hint of sarcasm. Why couldn't I just nod my head and go, "Thank you sir. I will sir." Is it that difficult? I guess not, but sometimes I just end up being clumsy and spurt out what I am thinking, not what I want to say.
Now you know why I have difficult holding conversation with girls >.<.
Geez, I guess I have my days to correct this problem.

Anyway, back to doing my work. Hell, I've never been this hardworking. Ever. Not even before the O levels.

wish you'd be there to guide me through these uncharted waters.